Creating an Incapacitated SocietyI just came across this article on Yahoo! News:
Colleges Try to Deal With Hovering Parents.
What frustrates me is that you see things like this every day on the news. It seems that Baby Boomers, in their infinite quest for moral superiority over all other generations, think that they have found the holy grail of child rearing: to shield their children from the ugly face of reality. Whatever happened to pulling oneself up by their bootstraps? Today, it is every child's right to have their lives handed to them on a platter. While some are "lucky" enough to be served on a silver platter, tin is just as detrimental to the development of a child to a functioning adult.
Think that I'm over-reacting? I'm not so sure.
Just the other day I heard a news report about some school district (whose location I cannot recall at the moment) that was eliminating spelling bees because "you can only have one winner." Prior to that I heard a news report indicating that children are no longer developing vital immunities to simple childhood (and now adulthood) ailments because of the clean-room environments that we as a society have come to expect from our homes, schools, and workplaces. It really isn't that bad for a child to get sick every now and again...do they really need to live in pristine environments? Is that
really healthy?
The college article I read today sums it up very nicely. I understand that parents want to give their child the best possible life, that--although I am not a parent--I can appreciate the pain that must be felt to see your child appear to suffer and the overpowering urge to save the day. But are you really saving anyone when you dive into the pool of life with your clothes on in a frantic attempt to rescue your child from a non-lethal threat--nay imaginary threat? No!
By getting angry, filing lawsuits, making threatening phone calls, and demanding that the rules be bent or changed because you don't personally like having to see your child told "no" every now and again you are in fact doing them--and the whole of society--an immeasurable disservice. This country was not founded on the premise that every person will be equal, that every person should not face adversity or that every person should face the same level of such. This country was based on the principle that each person shall be free to--of their own accord and upon their own merits--live an independent life.
Society has been sending a message to children that it is not okay to fail and--if you do--it is because somebody else's standards are unfair. The problem with our society (well, one of the problems at least) is that most of us are unschooled in the fields of psychology, sociology, or medicine and--as a result--we are incapable of intelligently interpreting raw scientific data. When then get a hold of a study that says this or that we immediately jump off the deep end and start rallying to change whatever small factor that someone indicated could potentially cause a person to develop some sort of phobia or neuroses. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us gather our daily helping of hysteria from the nightly news which does a fantastically inept job of condensing a 500-page study into a 6-second sound byte. A sound byte that we--in turn--repeat in the picket line in front of our childrens' schools.
IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. In fact, IT IS OKAY FOR *YOUR* CHILD TO FAIL. Your children aren't as fragile as you want to believe. Yes, they are the world to you but they aren't to us; and that's okay! I remember when I used to fall down and skin my knee playing as a kid (which wasn't that long ago); my mom would give me a bandage and send me along my way. I can't even begin to tell you how many ambulance calls I have responded to where a child has in essence skinned their knee and the parents are literally crying more than the child.
Children will get hurt, children will break bones, skin knees, fail classes, be called names, and play in the mud. Children will eventually grow up, possibly go to college, and leave home. How they adapt to that transition is almost entirely up to their parents. Whether they go to college with the mindset of a child, running to mommy or daddy every time they face something that is new and seemingly unwelcome to them, or whether they embrace challenges, come up with their own solutions, and trudge on, all depends on how they were raised.
Every child will not go to and graduate college. Not every child has the capacity. Not every child will succeed at everything he or she sets out to accomplish. Nobody is good at everything...don't lie to them and tell them that they are. By doing so you are setting them up for true failure. Each one of us is capable of different things and this is okay. Societies are built on individuals serving different roles. There is nothing wrong with your child being praised for different accomplishments than somebody else's. They'll get over it...but only if you can.
Your children won't always be children. How do you want them to function when you are no longer in their lives? After all, you ARE going to die someday.
posted at 05:51